Lonely Lullaby
by PancakesAndSunshine
Summary: Abby is involved in what seems to be a fatal accident. McGee is distraught because he feels she doesn't know that he loves her, and that now he can never tell her. Will the race against time give McGee the moment he had yearned for? Read to find out! Rated T for themes. R&R please!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: I'm just going to warn you ahead of time; GRAB THE TISSUE BOX. I was legitimately sobbing just **_**listening **_**to the song. It's called "Lonely Lullaby" by Owl City. It's honestly a beautiful song. **

**ALSO: I will be doing one chapter per "paragraph," if you will, of lyrics. I'll see if you all want me to continue. If I get a good response, I'll definitely continue it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics or the characters, just the storyline. **

**Enjoy! **

_**Symphony of silver tears,**_

_**Sing to me and sooth the ring in my ears,**_

_**Overcast these gloomy nights wear on,**_

_**But I'm holding fast because it's darkest just before the dawn**_

The surgeon entered the waiting room, where the team waited with bated breaths. Tony was holding a crying Ziva closely; Gibbs was in the corner, resting his elbows on his knees with his head in his hands.

McGee was sitting, staring blankly at the wall ahead of him. The sickly clean smell of hospital made his gorge rise. He snapped out of his trance when the surgeon began to speak.

"Leroy Gibbs? For Abby?" he asked, scanning the room filled with family members of other patients in the hospital.

All four immediately stood, lumps in their throats. The surgeon motioned for them to follow him.

"She's currently on Life Support. There were immeasurable amounts of glass fragments lodged in her cerebral cortex-"

"Well, get them **out**," Tony barked sarcastically. He squeezed Ziva's hand tight as Gibbs glanced at him.

The surgeon took a deep breath. "We tried. We've removed as many as we can, but there are far too many small pieces for us to remove. At this point, it would cause her too much pain. She has also severed multiple nerves in her neck and is paralyzed from the neck down from the impact of the semi. There honestly isn't much we can do at this point," he explained. "It's your decision…" he began.

"Our decision? You mean, it's our decision when to pull the plug? Our decision when to kill her?" McGee's voice rose, drawing looks from passersby.

"Now, calm down sir. Please," the surgeon's voice was steady, and he held his hand out.

"Tim." Gibbs' voice was biting.

McGee clenched his jaw.

"Listen: we'll try to do all that we can. We'll give you an update as soon as possible," the surgeon walked away.

Tony and Ziva walked back to the waiting room, Ziva's knees wobbling. She sunk to the ground as collective gasps sounded from the people around them. Tony knelt next to her and held her head to his chest.

"I know, Zee. I know," he whispered.

Gibbs leveled his breathing and motioned McGee aside.

"Don't make this harder than it is, Tim," Gibbs warned. His icy blue eyes stared into McGee's.

"How can I not?" he snapped back, his voice growing louder and louder. "You're not the only one who loved her."

Heads turned in his direction, the volume of his voice shocking those around him.

"I know-"

"No, you don't. You really, really don't. She _knew _you loved her. Every day, you would tell her. Kiss her on the cheek. With me, she never knew! Now she'll really never know!" he cried. "I was going to tell her that I loved her tonight, Gibbs. Tonight…" his voice trailed.

Gibbs swallowed down the rising lump in his throat. "I know she knew," he tried.

"I wanted to spend my life with her, Gibbs. She completed me. She was my other half. My soul mate. I can never be with her now." His voice cracked. "Never."

With that, he turned on his heel and made a beeline for the staircase leading to the roof.

Gibbs took a deep breath in an attempt to steady his heartbeat. He made his way to the waiting room, where Ziva was curled in Tony's lap, staring at the ground.

Tony's eyes flickered to Gibbs, clouded with tears. "Where's McGee?" he mumbled.

Gibbs slid into the seat next to Tony and shifted Ziva onto his lap. "He's up on the roof. Go."

Tony gave Ziva's shoulder a squeeze and left for the rooftop.

"Gibbs, may I confess something?" Ziva spoke quietly after Tony disappeared up the steps.

Gibbs tightened his grip around her shoulders, giving her a sense of security. "Tell me anything."

"This is the first time I have been so scared," she replied.

He looked down at her. "There's no shame in being scared, Ziva. I get scared too."

"How could this happen…?" she muttered.

He bent down to whisper in her ear. "Everything happens for a reason."

Meanwhile, Tony approached McGee's hunched figure, overlooking the blood red, sinking sun; light rays rippled across the sky, giving it a majestic, water-color effect.

It was quite melancholy, actually. He should be holding Abby's hand, enjoying the beautiful sunset with her. Instead, she was battling for her life as he sat there motionless.

_What if I had gone with her?_

_What if I left the parking lot first?_

_What if…_

His thoughts were interrupted by Tony's voice, and for a moment he ignored him.

"What'cha doing up here?" Tony asked so quietly, for a moment he thought McGee hadn't heard him.

He took a seat next to McGee and crossed his legs, the wind ruffling through their hair.

Tears streamed down McGee's face as he stared off into the distance. He gave Tony a dismissive glance out of the corner of his eyes. "I never told her I loved her, Tony. Never…" he choked. "Now she won't know."

Tony leaned back and licked his lips. "Oh, I'm sure she knew."

"But I wasn't good to her. I never got the chance-"

Tony cut him off. "Look. There're things that people just know. Your love for her was one of those things. She would've had to be blind to not see that. Everyone could," he replied.

"I don't care if other people saw it. She was really the only one that mattered," McGee admitted quietly.

"I know what it's like," Tony sympathized.

"But you still have Ziva…" McGee reasoned sadly. He turned to face Tony fully. "Count your blessings now and tell her."

Now the tables were turned. Tony cast his eyes down and studied the popcorn texture of the roof. "I wish I could."

"You're lucky," McGee laughed humorlessly. "Man… I _loved_ her, Tony. I still love her."

Tony looked back up, yet avoiding eye contact. "Why don't we go inside?" He stood, prompting McGee to rise as well.

"And for the record," Tony broke the silence before stepping into the building, "I do love Ziva. I do. And… I'm going to tell her."

McGee nodded. "Good."

_I only wish I did…_

**Author's Note: SO? How did you like it? This is only the first chapter. I'm debating the outcome of the story, so if you want to see more, leave some reviews! Hope you liked this. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: I guess I got a good response on this story! I'm glad you're all enjoying it so far, as sad as it may be. Anyway, please leave a review so I know how I'm doing! Thanks.**

**SIDE NOTE: The italicized parts are flashbacks.**

_**I sang my princess fast asleep,**_

_**Because she was my dream come true**_

_**Oh, Abby, believe me, I loved you**_

_The pads of his fingers traced circles around her waist. "You awake?" he whispered, needing to move but not wanting to wake her up._

_She responded with a mere groan, but he decided to stay._

_What had initially started out as McGee doing Abby a favor- her car was in the shop overnight and he offered to take her home- turned into something more. At this point, he was holding her closely as she drifted in and out of a light sleep. _

_He shifted slightly and sat up, not wanting to cause her too much discomfort. She sat up moments later, drawing a frown from his face._

"_Did I wake you?" he asked guiltily. _

_She grinned and shook her head sleepily. "Nah, I was just laying there."_

_McGee smiled and checked his watch. "Shoot… It's 12:30 in the morning. I should probably head home," he grimaced. _

_He reluctantly stood, but Abby reached out and tugged at his sleeve. "Wait… Can you stay?"_

_He licked his lips and paused for a moment. Seconds later, he kicked off his shoes with a grin and rejoined her on the couch._

"_Mind if we watch 'Alice in Wonderland'?" she asked, waiting for his response before popping the movie in. _

_He nodded. "We can watch whatever you want."_

_She slid the disk into the DVD player and sat back on the couch._

_About halfway through the movie, McGee looked down at Abby, whose face was lit by the flickering pictures across the screen._

"_You falling asleep?" he asked, smiling a little. She nodded against his chest and snuggled closer to him._

_He began to sing "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol softly into her ear, his surprisingly pure, vibrato tone soothing her. _

"_If I lay here… If I just lay here… Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?"_

_Soon enough, she was fast asleep in his arms. He bent his neck down at a slight angle and pressed a kiss to her forehead. _

"_Goodnight, Princess," he whispered. With one last loving look at her sleeping figure, he tightened his grip around her shoulders and leaned his head back on the couch, and fell asleep._

Ziva interrupted his thoughts. "Tim?" she spoke cautiously.

He looked up blankly, his eyes glassed over. "What is it?"

"Gibbs said to go home and get some rest," she explained.

His eyes flickered dangerously. "To hell with Gibbs," he growled, scaring Ziva.

She took a few small steps backwards, distancing herself from the angry McGee. "Well, if you're staying, then I am staying," she spoke firmly.

He looked up and nodded, but a split second later, the tears were streaming down his face again.

Immediately she flew to his side, one hand on his back; the other in his hand.

"Shh," she said softly. "Please." She gave his hand a gentle squeeze as Tony walked into the room.

"Gibbs told us to go home, but I'm not leaving. He's back in the other waiting room down the hall," Tony explained. He took a seat opposite McGee.

"Maybe it would be good for you to get some sleep," Tony offered halfheartedly, knowing that McGee would put up a fight if anyone suggested he sleep or leave. "You've got the dark bags goin' on." He gestured to the circles underneath his eyes representing a lack of sleep.

McGee clenched his jaw. "No," he replied adamantly.

"I can see you're stressed-" Ziva began.

McGee glared at her. "No shit, Sherlock," he quipped sarcastically.

Ziva momentarily closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Like I was saying, you might just need to take a walk. Fresh air might help you."

Now it was McGee's turn to take a deep breath. "Yeah, I get it. Sorry for snapping. I'll be back in a few." He pardoned himself from the room and stepped into the moonlit lot.

The thin air was harsh against his lungs as he inhaled deeply. His breath puffed out as he opened his mouth.

Hands deep in his pocket, he walked slowly around the empty parking lot, accompanied by a few lonely owls.

Looking up at the moon, he smiled.

The moon had always reminded him of Abby. It was bright and lit up the darkest spaces.

Moments later, a light sprinkle began to fall through the dark night sky.

The spray refreshed him as it seeped through his skin.

Suddenly, footsteps sounded behind him.

"Tim?" Gibbs' voice resounded through the parking lot.

McGee whipped around and swallowed. "Any word?" he asked, his voice tinted with anxiety.

"Yeah. They said we can see her," he explained.

Without hesitating, McGee rushed back into the hospital, walking bewilderedly through the hallways to find Abby's room.

He stopped, out of breath, when he saw Tony and Ziva huddled together outside a doorway. He looked to them, then to the door.

"We thought you would like to see her after Gibbs did. We… thought it would be right," Tony managed to explain. Ziva's eyes were welling up with tears, and McGee looked at her softly.

"I'll try and hurry so you can see her," he said sadly.

Ziva shook her head. "No, no, take your time," she choked.

He licked his lips and nodded, and sucked in his breath as he turned the doorknob.

He stepped nervously into the room, his eyes resting on Abby's small frame. He rushed next to her and touched her arm lightly, not wanting to disturb the seemingly thousand wires that were attached to her, all over.

"Abby…" he whispered. He rolled a nearby chair next to her bed and took a seat, all while maintaining contact with her.

He held her hand closely as he studied her face.

Her lip was split and she had many small cuts and scratches from the broken glass of her car window. Small lacerations ran down her neck and arms; a few of them were still bright red and swollen.

"Oh God," he breathed out shakily. "Oh my God…"

"I'm so sorry," he whispered to her unconscious figure. "This is my fault. I was so selfish. If we hadn't left work early so I could take you to some stupid restaurant so I could…" his voice faltered, "So I could tell you I loved you."

He shook his head with a humorless laugh. "Trust me, Abby. You were my dream. My dream-almost-come-true. I love you. I don't know what I'm gonna do now, because there's nobody like you. You're the one and only Abby Sciuto. You're… You're the one and only love of my life."

Suddenly, her fingers twitched ever so slightly, but enough for him to feel it against his own skin.

A smile tugged at his mouth; a smile he couldn't control.

"Good, Abby," he grinned sadly. "That's good. Please hang in there for me, baby. I just don't want you to hurt anymore."

The tears flowed again.

"I don't want you to hurt… Not anymore. No more pain…" he managed in between sobs. Looking up, he caressed her scarred face gently, and bent down to give her a light kiss on the forehead.

"I'm going to go now, but Tony and Ziva are gonna come inside in a second. When they leave, I'll be right here, baby. I promise," he whispered into her ear. With one last gentle squeeze of her hand, he exited the room and allowed Ziva and Tony to step in.

Eyes filled with tears, Ziva moved to the side of Abby's bed and took the seat where McGee had occupied just moments before.

"Hi Abby," she whispered. "I've missed seeing you for the past few… Hours," she let out a soft laugh.

"We miss your smile, baby girl," Tony ran his eyes over her body.

Ziva looked up at Tony, the corners of her mouth tugging downwards. "Yes, we've missed your smile. And we can't wait to see it again after this whole thing is over," she choked.

Tony massaged Abby's hair ever so gently with the tips of his fingers. "We miss you," he said softly. "Ziva and I really do love you like a sister, Abby. How could this happen?" he gasped slightly.

Ziva pressed her lips together and ran her thumb over Abby's jawline.

"How could this happen to our baby…?" Tony frowned, tears beginning to roll down his face.

Simultaneously, Tony and Ziva pressed a gentle kiss to either of Abby's cheeks.

"Bye, baby girl," Tony whispered wistfully as he and Ziva slipped out the door.

Ziva spotted McGee in the corner of her eye, hunched in a chair down the hall.

"I've never seen him like this," she said sadly.

Tony pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. "I love you, Ziva. I just want you to know, okay?"

She looked up at him, confused. "Tony-"

"Don't say anything," he interrupted. He held her in his arms and closed his eyes. "I love you."

**Author's Note: And END Chapter Two! So, how did you like it? Review please! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Why hello there! I'm back again with another installment of "Lonely Lullaby." I really hope you love it!**

_I'll dissolve when the rain pours in,_

_When the nightmares take me_

_I will scream with the howling wind,_

_Because it's a bitter world,_

_And I'd rather dream_

"_**I'm sorry. We weren't able to bring her back."**_

"_**No… That has to be a mistake. Are you sure? Abby Sciuto?"**_

"_**I'm sorry."**_

"_**But you have to try again!"**_

"_**We've done everything in our power, Mr. McGee. I'm sorry, but she's dead."**_

The words in his mind jolted him upright out of his chair, away from his nightmare, and he awakened with a gasp and cold sweat beading at the threshold of his forehead.

He swallowed and looked to Abby; she seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Relieved, he took a deep breath.

A firm hand pressed into his shoulder, and he looked up. "Hey, Boss," he greeted Gibbs dryly, his eyes blank and emotionless.

"Why don't you go and grab something to eat?" Gibbs suggested. "I'll take over until you get back."

McGee shrugged halfheartedly. "I'm not really hungry…" he lied.

Gibbs sighed. "I figured you wouldn't wanna leave." He fished a pack of Nutter Butters out of his pocket and held it out in front of McGee.

McGee gave him a confused look.

Gibbs shrugged. "Just in case you get hungry."

McGee warily accepted it and placed it on his lap. "Thanks."

Gibbs made his way to the other side of Abby and looked down at her, crossing his arms. "Hey there," he smiled at her, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "How are you?"

"She's not about to reply," McGee bit sarcastically.

Gibbs took a deep breath and blew it out. "Yeah. Yeah, I know."

"I think I'm going to take another walk," McGee decided out loud.

Gibbs nodded. "I'll stay with her."

McGee pushed himself off his chair and exited the hospital, where he was met by a refreshingly light sprinkle of rain falling from the sky.

He paced the length of the hospital a few times as the light rain grew heavier and heavier, until finally it turned into sheets as it came down.

"I'm so stupid," he muttered to himself as a clap of thunder sounded loudly above him. "You should've been with her. It should've been you."

Moments later, he heard a car engine around the corner.

Heart beating fast, he waited for the exact moment the driver would be most vulnerable- the moment when the car would be speeding around the sidewalk fastest.

Without another thought, he dashed out to meet the bright headlights of the car, rolling into the glass while simultaneously smashing it.

The last thing McGee saw was a pair of shiny black loafers- Gibbs' shoes- approaching him, and with that, his vision went blurry and he blacked out.

**-6:30 p.m., West Wing of the hospital-**

"Ugh," McGee groaned quietly as the harsh hospital lights violated his eyes.

Guarding his eyes with his hand, he blinked rapidly to greet the image of Tony's face staring down at him.

"You took quite the spill, Probie." Tony tapped his finger on the edge of McGee's bed.

McGee shot up like a rocket, provoking his oncoming migraine. "Abby," he breathed, wincing. "Where's Abby?"

"She's still in pretty much the same condition," Tony informed him bitterly. "Don't you want to know how the driver's doing? You ended up in his lap."

McGee muttered a few curses under his breath. "Get me out of here," he demanded, turning his head wildly, completely ignoring Tony.

Tony shrugged. "You have to be cleared by a doctor first."

McGee glared at him. "Do you think I give a damn? Quite frankly, I really don't. So get me out of this stupid dress and give me my clothes."

"There were glass shards up your asshole, so I suggest you wait until they remove them." Tony smirked.

McGee wriggled for a moment, then stared back up at him. "They're gone."

Tony sighed and shook his head. "There really is no stopping you," he muttered, handing McGee his clothes.

"It's about damn time," McGee mumbled. He quickly switched from the airy hospital gown into his slacks and half-buttoned shirt. He stalked down the hallway as fast as he could and stopped dead in front of Abby's room.

"Is she okay?" McGee asked, his eyes frantic.

The nurse looked up at him. "Have you been cleared by a doctor yet?" she eyed him warily.

He dismissed her question and jabbed his pointer finger in Abby's direction. "Is she okay?"

The nurse took a deep breath and read off a clipboard. "We heavily dosed her with anesthesia and managed to remove a vast majority of the glass shards that were impaled into her cerebral cortex. The doctor has also somehow repaired most of the nerves in her neck. She'll be just fine, actually, from what I'm seeing."

On impulse, McGee scooped up the nurse in his arms and kissed her hard on the forehead. "Thank you… Thank you!"

He ran down the hallway and met Tony, who was standing closely next to Ziva.

"You look well, Timothy," Ziva offered after a moment of silence.

"She… She's gonna be okay…" McGee managed. He sank to his knees in the middle of the hall.

Tony and Ziva knelt down next to him, unable to contain the wide grins spreading on their faces.

"Everything's gonna be okay," Tony smiled widely. They helped McGee up and leaned him against the wall.

Gibbs walked up to the trio huddled on the wall. "I'm assuming you heard?" he addressed McGee stoically, sipping his black coffee.

McGee looked down and cleared his throat nervously. "Yeah… Yeah, I did. She's gonna be just fine…" he let out breathily.

"When do they estimate she will be out?" Ziva inquired, folding her arms over her chest.

Gibbs sipped from his coffee again and shrugged. "It might be a week until she comes out of the hospital. But the good thing is that she's gonna be just fine."

"For… Abby Sciuto?" a younger nurse- most likely an intern, walked past them.

McGee leaped and stood straight, staring the young intern in the eye intently. "What's the news?"

"Miss Sciuto is resting now, and she has to go through a few sessions of laser therapy with a resident physical therapist, but other than that, she'll be out of here in at least a week," the nurse explained.

A smile broke out on Gibbs' face. He shook the nurses hand, and Tony and Ziva followed suit.

McGee was stunned. Just as the nurse was walking away, he turned to Gibbs, Tony, and Ziva, who were rejoicing with hugs.

Ziva motioned him in, but he shook his head. "There's something I need to do, and I need to do it now," he began, "You guys know I love Abby, with all my heart. You also know that I would never do anything to hurt her," he directed his gaze at Gibbs.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Is this going where I think it's going, Probie?"

McGee wetted his lips and nodded. "I'm going to ask her t-to marry me," he managed.

Ziva began to clap and threw her arms around McGee's neck. "Oh, Timothy! Congratulations. You're a wonderful man- Abby is very lucky," she smiled.

Tony stood still for a moment, but an even brighter smile spread onto his face. He clapped McGee's shoulder, pulling him into a hug. "I don't know what to say… Congratulations," Tony said eagerly.

McGee nodded, then turned to Gibbs. "Boss?"

Gibbs looked at him apprehensively for a moment, then broke out into a smile and nodded quickly. "Yeah, McGee. Yeah, you do that." He shook McGee's hand firmly and gave him a tight hug.

McGee took a deep breath and nodded. Everything was going to be okay, at least for now.

And he was okay with that.

**Author's Note: And that's the end of Chapter Three! I hope you guys love the miracle recovery. No way I could kill off sweet little Abby! Anyway, drop something in the review box, and I hope y'all stick around for the next and final installment! **


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